I’ve finally reached the official end of my year-long shopping detox, and if you ask me how I’m feeling, I would have to say I’m both surprised and a little anxious.
Surprise makes sense. My own family didn’t quite believe I could do it, and while I knew I could, I wasn’t quite sure I would. I thought I would give up or give in, and believe me, it was tempting. Really tempting.
This last month has been the hardest, actually. If I’m being honest, I did break the detox by buying a few things at an outlet last week (we arrived in the USA earlier than usual). I could have gotten around it by getting family to purchase them as gifts, but that’s not the point. I needed a jean coat and a long sleeve blazer, and when Gap has both for $25 each, you do what you got to do. This year has never been about some kind of “prove it” philosophy for me. It hasn’t been about the post-detox brag. It’s always been about figuring out my own way and my own issues.
So why do I feel anxious? Why am I not as excited as I thought I would be to hit the stores today. Something I don’t even anticipate doing. Which surprises me, believe me.
The truth is, it’s been a relief to have some reason to hold back, and without that, I wonder what things will look like – if I’ll go back to my old ways.
I keep thinking about the times when I went past stores and said, ‘If I wasn’t on this detox I would buy that.’ And I survived. I thrived without those things, actually. I keep thinking about all the ads I blocked on Instagram. Will I go back to wasting time browsing things I don’t need? Will I make up for “lost time”? If I have no reason or rule for not doing these things, and no one to hold me accountable, will I just revert to my old ways?
Honestly, I really don’t know.
Two things I’ve learned this past year…
1. My wardrobe needs have significantly shifted in the last two years, and my shopping should too. I used to spend 2-3 days a week at events that required a little more dress up. Now, I spend a lot of time at home and at basketball tournaments with MAYBE 1-2 meetings per week where I actually have to dress up like a decent human. And they’re with different people so the same outfit can often work. I need less things. Especially less fancy things.
2. Just because it’s a good deal, doesn’t mean it’s a good look for me. If it doesn’t fit perfectly, and if it doesn’t look right on my body, don’t get it. Leave it at the store. I tried on this gorgeous silver top that was on sale for $13, but the bow was in an awful place and there was just no way I was going to feel my best wearing it, even though it had all the makings of a wow factor. So I left it. A year ago I would have bought it, worn it to one event and then tucked it a way once I saw the inevitable unflattering picture. I mean, it’s just $13. No more. No more inexpensive pieces with no real benefit.
Three Practical Strategies I’m using going forward.
1. Lists. I’ve been making it all year, and I’m ranking the priorities. When I’m going into a store, I’m not just shopping, I’m looking for X. If there’s something I wore a lot that fell apart this year, replacing it is top of the agenda. If I don’t need sweaters, don’t look for sweaters. If I don’t need pants or skirts, don’t go looking for deals on pants and skirts. Stick to the list. My goal is to keep my drawers and shelves really lean.
2. Seasonal Shopping. The hardest time for the detox was the spring-summer transition and the fall transition. So one of the things I’m going to do is build lists that can be addressed at block times, when I have a clearer sense of need. Does the shirt I wear under the blazer need to be replaced. Add it to the list, and wait until that season? Do I need a pair of jean shorts. Add it to the list…and wait.
3. Online restrictions. These are critical. No buying without trying it on. If I’m buying it online, it’s only because I’m unable to find it in stores. I have to read a number of reviews about quality and fit and wait a week to buy. AND there has to be an easy and well-regarded return policy.
I want to thank everyone who cheered me on this year and wished me well. It meant a lot.
I want to encourage those of you who are still at it to keep going, and for those of you who are thinking about it to try it…try six months…See what you learn. And if shopping’s not your thing, do something hard and fun this year – up your organization skills, limit your waste, increase composting or plastic bags.
There’s lots of good reasons to do all of these things, but I think the key for me this year was to do it for me – and to have fun with it. I made a few exceptions, I ended a week early in terms of buying, but I have no regrets about those things. It was never a competition. But it really does feel like I’ve won something – that I’ve learned from a number of little victories. Like that time, mid-way through the detox when I tried things on in Winners and left with nothing. Or that time I carried items around for 30 minutes in Target that I could have justified needing…but left with nothing. Or those under-twenty dollar items I left behind in Marshall’s and TJ Maxx even though they fit and the deal was insane, simply because I did not NEED them. These are little victories I plan on living out again in 2020. Because it’s not a competition. But winning, even in these small ways, feels good.